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Living in the Shadows

For many years, I have struggled with what is expected of me and what I truly want. It was not until I started my journey of self-discovery, when I realized that I have been living in shadows. In all the small compromises, I was making in my life, I was losing myself. I often hear from woman “This is cards, I am dealt with, so I have to just take it”. I used to say that to myself as well, but no “this is the cards I am dealt with and I am going to be the dealer”. It is about time I come out of the shadows. It’s about time that I also start living life to my terms. The only thing that is stopping us from taking control of our own lives, is ourselves. I used to be a dreamer. It is time, I start dreaming again. Come out of the shadows, and start living your dream.

Quarantine Mind

My recent choices for books or listening material have been generally about self -improvement. To summarize, I have learned that in life, you can only work on yourself. Any struggle you have in life, can be dealt with better, by going inward and learning about yourself. Interesting, instead of going outward to fix the problem, you must turn inward. During the Quarantine, we are all asked to stay at home. If you do for some reason have to go out for groceries or work, it is now mandatory to wear a mask. Why do we wear a mask? The Physician Assistant in me, understands the precautions you must take to protect yourself and others from this deadly virus. Similarly, to protect our mind from negativity, we must take care of it. How can we take care of it? Well I have learned that it takes patience and practice. It is a choice I have to make over and over again EVERY day. In just one day, a billion things can go “wrong” or in one day “things just happen”. Consider making a routine for yourself, which includes 10-15 minutes of mental strengthening. This could include doing some sort of exercise, yoga, meditation, reading uplifting material, or listening to an inspirational speaker. I read somewhere, “this generation is filled with happy pictures but sad people”. In our free time, we are so quick to turn to social media that it quickly fills up our mind without us even knowing. Try “mental strengthening” initially for 10-15 minutes and gradually increase that time. See how your life will be transformed. Things that used to bother you, start to bother you less.

“Happiness Makes People Prettier, it is a Noticeable Glow”

The other day my son asked me mamma are you happy or sad? I immediately responded, “I am happy sona, (dear).” It is not that, I do not tell him when I am sad. I try to share when I am sad or angry because I want him to understand that it is ok to feel these emotions and to know that they will pass! But generally, you want to always share happiness whether it is your children, other members of the family, friends and or even strangers. Happiness is a noticeable glow. A smile can be radiant, laughter can be contagious and a twinkle in the eye can be captivating.

So what is happiness? Is it a “subjective well-being” as described in various places? Is it a “sweet emotion” or is it a “state of mind”? In her 2007 book The How of Happiness, positive psychology researcher Sonja Lyubomirsky elaborates, describing happiness as “the experience of joy, contentment, or positive well-being, combined with a sense that one’s life is good, meaningful, and worthwhile.”

That definition resonates with me well, as it describes happiness with a “sense” but also relates it to a purpose in life. There are “fleeting” sensations of happiness that include smiling, and laughing but beyond that there is gratitude, satisfaction and contentment in life that provides a more stable inner- self. That is why when you see someone who has achieved a “level of calmness in life” you are attracted to it because that is happiness, it is a noticeable glow.